This poem was written during the latter part of 1994, during one of the peaks of disillusionment and disappointment. The poem implies that around this period, I thought that the answer to my problems was to be loved. Very naive, of course.
Amidst the chirping insects
I walked the sunny path
The wind above me whistled
Dropping leaves across the swath
The branches above waved at me
Happy, on that sunlit morn
Beneath the rustling canopy
A soul walked, sad and torn.
Inspite of the brightness of the sun
And the warmth it gave the earth
Inside my spirit, it was dark and cold.
I cursed the day of my birth.
Amidst the grass that rose from the earth
Amidst the birds that fly
Amidst a world of growing life
I prayed that I would die.
I tried to find some comfort
In the sound of the rustling leaves
I strained to hear the voice of God
Inside the whispering breeze.
Pain had suddenly siezed my heart
And my soliliquy is done
I cried. I died but still lived on
As someone unloved, and alone.